Finally, after seven months, my time in limbo is at an end. In a few weeks time, I will once again be free to roam without need of a battle buddy at my side constantly. I will be allowed to go where I please, when I please, visit my room whenever I like, go to the doctor whenever I like instead of at 0430 in the morning, drive myself places instead of relying on a shuttle that has a different driver each day with their own interpretation of the schedule, drink alcohol, go to bed when I want and not have to worry about doing bed checks, sleep past 0445 on weekdays... People who say transitioning from this is no different than transitioning out of college are full of bull-hooey.
My travel plans for leaving here and for the holidays are already in place with tickets bought, I'll be hitting up a few major cities in the brisk winter weather, get to see my beloved Chicago at Christmastime (my favorite time to be in any major northern city), but most importantly I'll be able to see the friends and family I was unable to see for the past year.
Of course, now that I am out of here, the first thing everyone worries about is getting a job and going back to school. The popular option in the eyes of the wise elders in my life is that I ought to go to a big wig school in DC or Saint Louis or a city like that, get a degree in Political Science, and go be a brilliant government contractor. Would that be lucrative? Yes. Would I likely be good at it? Yes. However, I hated government in school. Hands down least favorite subject. Is it ironic that I hate studying the very thing I joined to protect, along with the citizens of this great nation? Yes. But I find the inner-workings of the American Political System to be tedious and boring. Sorry.
Thanks to the plethora of articles that cross my Facebook feed daily, I am aware that the modern American woman often has no idea what the f...udge she wants to do with her life until she's about thirty, and that this indecisiveness is perfectly normal. That doesn't make you feel like any less of an idiot for being completely at a loss as to what you should do with your life.
I've got a helluva college back-up thanks to the GI Bill, I just need to decide what to do. There are a large number of states who will waive the residency requirements for in-state tuition for Vets, which makes my life that much easier because my lovely GI Bill will pay 100% of in-state tuition costs, so picking a place to study is one problem. Picking what to study is another issue as well.
I've tried and failed nursing school, and I've tried and ended up broken in the Army. While neither plan worked out, I did enjoy both of them immensely. Would becoming an EMT be a good way to join the two? Possibly. I also like to travel and love to study languages, so maybe working with a travel agency or a college's study-abroad program would work best with my dreams. Or maybe I should go to culinary school and enjoy becoming a pastry chef or a sous chef.
This is one of those times where I really just wish an estranged uncle would come out of the blue and give me ten million dollars so I could just travel around and unload some of the wanderlust that has plagued me since last winter. I just want to get in my trust Subaru and drive as I did the summer of 2013. Or, better yet, head to Ireland to do some research about the family and the lore of my people. And party like the Irish girl I am. Naturally.
At this point, I've decided a couple of things.
One, I will take everything day by day. Today has enough stress as it is, today does not need the stress of tomorrow or next week to fill it.
Two, I will stand up for the things I want and stop trying to live my life for others. Family is important, and respecting family is something I value highly, however if living the life your parents dream and dictate for you makes you unhappy, you need to find something that makes you happy. Your family will get over the "disappointment" and will be happy that you are happy. That's what family does.
Three, I will stop living so safely. If the Army taught me anything, it is that something can happen in a moment that can alter your life forever. You could lose a leg from an IED blast, get shot, die, end up paralyzed, etc. Granted, my chances to experience IED blasts or getting shot have been greatly reduced thanks to being medically discharged, but the same principles apply in the rest of the world: you never know when you'll end up in a car crash, get diagnosed with cancer, have a heart attack... The world is a dangerous place. Live the life you want to live while you can. Don't be on your deathbed, wishing you had climbed more mountains or jumped out of more planes or swam with more sharks. Sit on that bed and tell your kids and grandkids about the badass life you lived, and how you hope they have such adventures.
Four, I will stop settling. Find someone that makes you happy, and then hold onto them with all your might. Someone who brightens your world with a text or a phone call. I've watched Sleepless in Seattle about a dozen times over the last month and I'm happy to say I've found it. "I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car, and I knew. It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. It was like... magic."
So, now I just wait for the moment I can sign out of the barracks and be free for the first time in nearly a year.
-Sam
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